Don't Be Afraid To Tell
by The Akatsuki Wolf
Summary: The Immortal & The Weasel tear apart the Blonde, leaving him broken beyond repair. He doesn't tell anyone, he feels no one will care, and besides. He would only be punished. Madara didn't know if if he could fix him.. But he would give his best. OOC
1. Finding Out

**AUTHORESS: Amaya~Ikari**

**DATE WRITTEN: 3/5/12**

**TITLE: Don't Be Afraid To Tell**

**ANIME: Naruto**

**PAIRING: Yaoi: MadaraXDeidara/HidanXItachiXDeidara/HidanXItachi**

**STATUS: Multichapter: Completed**

**RELATED STORIES: None**

**WARNINGS: Graphic sex between two males, abuse, rape, dark themes.**

_~For there to be a happy ending, there must first be a story~_

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><p><strong>(DEIDARA)<strong>

I sat on my bed with my back against the wall and my head resting on my knees, facing the right side of my room. I was thinking about what happened yesterday. I made a disgusted sound that sounded like I was choking on something.

I was sick of being used.

My body was still as sore as though a train had struck me; bruises littered my body like dark reminders of what happened. I kept them hidden under long sleeves and sweatpants. I remember Kisame had asked why I was wearing sweats instead of my normal attire that was usually much tighter. Itachi had been standing there, glaring at me, daring me to slip up.

I scrambled for an answer before telling him,

"I just feel they're easier to train in, they're more comfortable as well, hm. The other pants were scratchy and difficult to maneuver in."

They both accepted this, thankfully. Kisame nodded before walking off. Itachi smirked at me, walking behind me and slapping my ass along the way to his room. I shuddered as I remembered his touch, how harsh it was.

I kept my cloak on at all times to hide the disgusting hickeys they'd left along my neck. How achingly ironic it was that another name for them was love bites. There was nothing loving about them. Hidan had left his own 'love mark' as well. A large, jagged, X shape was sliced into my chest and stomach, stretching from my left shoulder to my right hip. It hurt to the point of fighting tears back whenever my clothes rubbed against my bruises, bite marks, and other varying wounds. It didn't seem worth it to try taking care of myself, if I was just a whore, the wounds would never disappear. It didn't matter.

I was a mere toy to Hidan and Itachi, and when Sasori died, there was no one to protect me. I was vulnerable, and they took the chance. I had noticed their lustful gazes, but never thought they would have gone this far. It shows that Hidan was right; I was just a useless, stupid slut.

It had gotten to the point, I was nearly crazy. I had flashbacks whenever I was in the dark. I became afraid of the dark, more like terrified. In my mind, I saw Hidan tying me down, bonds digging into my sensitive skin.

Their cruel hands everywhere, I swear the touch actually burned my skin, because I repulsed it so much, it felt like acid. I pictured Itachi's frigid smirk as I eventually enjoyed the rein of torture, I still heard Hidan calling me a filthy whore. My body is different than my mind. If you touch it, it reacts, no matter what I think and want; or in this case, don't want.

I remembered the pain of them hitting me, cutting me, biting into my sensitive flesh. Itachi had a way of silencing me, by shoving his dick into my mouth until I gagged. Even then he didn't care. Neither of them cared. They want me to bleed, to scream, to beg and sob and to break.

I gasped in fear and surprise as a knock sounded on my door; I trembled, curling tightly into myself.

"Y-yes un?"

I called nervously. Tobi, my partner, flung the door open.

"Senpai! We have a mission; Leader-sama said we need to go to Kirigakure for a scroll! We need to leave right now or he'll get mad and we don't want that, because he is SCARY when he's mad!"

Tobi screamed in all his hyper glory, I smiled, despite my hidden problems and feelings. At least someone was happy. Tobi and I didn't get along at all when we were first partnered, after Sasori's death. He was annoying and useless in my eyes, and he never shut up. As in, I have never seen him quiet or calm. And on top of that, he always wore that infernal orange mask! What the hell! He always says no one should see him. I think he fell off the deep end years ago, even though I didn't think he was much older than I, despite his height or masculinity.

I nodded once, and told him to give me ten minutes. Ten minutes to get my shit together.

I gasped as Hidan appeared behind Tobi, grinning wolfishly at me, his violet eyes flashing suggestively.

"H-ey Dei-chan, how ya doin'?"

I winced as he smirked cruelly, dragging out the word 'hey' in a low tone. I lowered my eyes in shame. The feminine prefix he added to my name made me feel worse.

I flinched as he shifted, a whimper fell from my mouth, I prayed no one heard it. I didn't need questions from Tobi, or Hidan knowing the effect he had.

* * *

><p><strong>(Madara)<strong>

I had sensed Hidan coming, so I didn't give much of a reaction as he shoved in front of me bellowing some nonsense I didn't care enough to listen to.

I noticed with some concern Deidara flinched when Hidan spoke, whimpering almost inaudibly in fear. My eyes narrowed, I'd noticed Deidara was acting very differently, but I thought he was just being the kid he is and expressing himself differently. But then I noticed his limp, and the way he moved, it was as if he was in a pain. I was worried immediately. I had gone against my own rules and developed feelings for my own subordinate. After nearly a year of working with him, I had begun to see him as more than just a team mate, which was a mistake I couldn't help or fix.

I shoved Hidan out of my way to get to Deidara, paying no attention to his cursed threats. I stood over Deidara, he looked away from me, but I noticed how he inched closer towards me. Hidan still hadn't shut up yet and I was losing patience with him. Deidara trembled when the albino stepped forward. I glared through the hole in my mask, leaning down, I whispered,

"Are you alright Senpai?"

In a high pitch voice that even irritated me.

He nodded once, stuttering to answer.

"Y-yeah hm. I'm fine. Just got a cold, I guess."

He made a sorry excuse for his trembling. He stood, jerking his head away, but not quick enough for me to not see the tears welling in his eyes. I sighed lowly at his stubbornness and stood, skipping out the door like the hyper-active idiot I was supposed to portray. Hidan left behind me, shoving me into the wall on his way out, snickering. I was larger than he was, but my alias would never go up against him. Or anyone, really.

I growled when he was gone, my mask was about to crack. Maybe it was time for the true Akatsuki leader to come out.

I snapped out of my anger when I heard Deidara call out my name, and smiled slightly. He always used to be happy and optimistic. Now you rarely even saw a spark in his blue eyes. I narrowed my eyes in a nagging suspicion of Hidan; he had begun acting differently since Sasori died, a few months ago. Deidara always acted afraid of him, like he had a few moments ago. He had been jumpy around Itachi as well, but the younger Uchiha rarely showed much -if any-, emotion towards anything or anyone so it was difficult to tell if he had been doing something to Deidara. I knew the two had a rather strained relationship.

Deidara wasn't one to be afraid of something trivial, if someone was hurting him, I wanted to know.

I broke my train of thought as I reached my destination, the outskirts of the forest surrounding our base, where a single clay bird sat in all its "artistic glory."

Wait, only one? He usually makes me fly on a different one, so I didn't bother him. I said nothing to him, just walked past him and easily jumped onto the back of the large clay bird. I knelt down to help him up onto it, thankful the mask hid my smirk as I did so. No matter how much he was annoyed by me, he couldn't ignore the fact he needed help. He was shorter than I was and he had a difficult time getting onto his birds; he didn't like to waste chakra getting onto them so instead, he allowed me to help him.

I gripped his hand and gently lifted him onto the bird. He didn't weigh much, but it made me nervous to find he seemed to weight much less than he did before. With the baggy clothes he wore it was hard to tell if he had lost any weight or not, but when you picked him up he felt so light; it was frightening.

He crouched and sat cross-legged at the front of the bird; I sat near the middle, where I was safe from falling off and could give him some space. I glared down at our surroundings, muttering utter nonsense under my breath, as Tobi would do. I often had to remind myself to talk, Tobi was never silent.

I glanced up as the bird began to land; I stood and jumped off before we touched the ground.

"Senpai look! It's so foggy, I can't see anything!"

I lied as I looked around irritably. I could see just fine, even with only one eyehole through this disgusting mask. If I concentrated chakra to that eye I could easily see through the mist. I heard a mumbled reply from him as I turned and held my arms out as he jumped, catching him carefully and setting him down on the ground. I noticed his face glistened, as if wet. As he allowed his hair to fall over his face, I shook my head and chalked it up to sweat.

I focused on my thoughts, walking ahead of the lagging blonde. Why was he so, different? He was nervous, cautious, and he looked rather tired and… depressed, if I had to guess. I wasn't paying attention and I walked straight into the door of the hotel, which got a giggle from the blonde. I was grateful that at least the stupid stunt had seemed like something Tobi would have done. God, this charade would end up with me going insane.

"Ow."

I muttered sarcastically before opening the door and bouncing in, telling 'Senpai' to hurry. He stalked in, peering around irritably, holding his arms over his chest. I waltzed in behind him, eyeing the hotel disapprovingly. I kicked at the ground, half listening as he paid for a room. I skipped behind his hunched form, staring with surprise as he nearly tore off the door's hinges getting into the room.

I immediately noticed there was only one bed.

The clerk must've mistaken him for a girl, something he, for once, didn't seem to care about. He flopped down onto the large bed, curling into a tiny ball, shivering harshly. I told him he should shower, ignoring the glare I received. I expected to be told off, because he never listened to me. I was surprised and even more suspicious as he actually obeyed me, rising up and walking to the main bathroom. I threw his bag to him, squealing randomness about water and asking 'Senpai' questions a mile a minute. I really didn't even know what I was saying; I was just trying to act hyper. I went to the bathroom on the left corner, irritably muttering about how stupid it was to have two bathrooms yet only one bed.

I half drowned in hot water for an hour, taking advantage of the fact that we had paid for the entire stay, meaning I could use all the hot water I wanted.

I shook my head, my shaggy black hair falling to near my ears. I glared at my reflection; sometimes I forgot my own damn face because I had to wear that mask all the time. I tossed my clothes on, situating my mask and walking out to the king sized bed.

I looked at Deidara, who had beaten me to bed. He was buried in blankets. His blonde hair splayed around him, down from its tie. He honestly looked very attractive. He had taken his eye scope off to sleep, something he almost never did, unless he trusted you. He had trusted Sasori, and now I had earned his trust. That was something fragile.

I contemplated sleeping on the floor and waking up tired and sore, or in the bed and risking his temper. I didn't even give it much thought before just falling into the comfortable blankets. I didn't sleep every night, and this was an occasion I wasn't going to pass up. I turned away from the sleeping teenager, removing my mask and setting it on the floor. It was all but impossible to sleep with, and I knew it was risky to sleep with it off around him. He would notice my sharingan immediately since I was incapable of turning it off like other Uchiha's. I started to reach for it, but feel asleep before I even touched it.

* * *

><p><strong>(Night time, Madara)<strong>

It took me a moment to realize I was awake; I could feel the bed shaking slightly and heard a strange sound. I forced myself to wake completely before I sat up and turned a lamp on. I turned to the side to see a heart wrenching sight.

Deidara was trembling violently; the sound was him sobbing quietly but uncontrollably. He was having a nightmare. I didn't move as he started to talk in his sleep, I leaned closer to understand some of his mumbled speech.

"P-please j-j-just stop! Leave me a-alone! It hurts! P-please stop, AH!"

He cried out suddenly, as if he was hurt. I jumped, startled by the outburst. He continued mumbling incoherently, his tears and shivers never ceasing. I reached over to him and lifted him into my lap, brushing his hair back and rubbing his stomach, as you do to young children when they have bad dreams. I figured it would work fine here as well. He gave a shuddering sigh, sounding as though he was trying to catch his breath, before whimpering again.

I shook him slightly to wake him from whatever was terrifying him so much, not caring if he found out who I was anymore. His breath hitched and he clutched onto me tightly, as though hanging on for his life. I removed my hand from under his shirt as his body tensed. He immediately freaked out.

"Get off of me! Please!"

He sobbed on the word please. I allowed him out of my grasp; his small body wrapped the blankets around him. I expected him to fight, he acted as though I was a monster. His tearful eyes looked at me in horror, before he realized I wasn't who he had apparently thought I was. However, his eyes widened when he realized, he didn't know who I was.

"Wh-who are you, un?"

He asked in a low whimper of a voice. A far cry from his usual confidence. His face was so afraid, his body shaking so vehemently I was afraid he was going to hurt himself. I stared him in the eyes, feeling my heart constrict as he began to sob once more, the moment he saw my sharingan. He slammed his azure eyes shut, bowing down.

"Please, p-please don't!"

He begged, but I didn't understand what he was asking me not to do. I didn't move, didn't touch him, I didn't want to scare him more than he already was.

"I'm Tobi, Deidara."

He shook his head at me, trying to speak but he was so messed up right now he couldn't properly form words.

"The Tobi you think you know, isn't real. He was an alias I created, a disguise of sorts, so people wouldn't know who I really am. My real name is Uchiha Madara."

He flinched, raising his head slightly to eye me nervously. I made no sudden movements, I waited until his breakdown was over and he sat silently with the blankets around him.

"Why…"

He spoke hoarsely. There were many things that question could apply to, but I answered the most obvious one.

"I am much older than I seem. I'm over two hundred years old."

His eyes widened, but I went on.

"I created Tobi and used a mask because in my time I caused a lot of war and anguish, and people wanted me dead or arrested. It wasn't safe for me to be out and with immortality of a kind in my hands, I didn't want to rot in prison forever. I covered my face with a mask and covered my tracks with a personality that is total opposite of my own; Tobi."

His mouth was parted slightly as he panted. He never met my eyes, but his gaze roamed over my face and form. He shook his head in disbelief, but never argued against my revealed identity.

"I created Akatsuki, to achieve a goal of world peace, something I could not make happen on my own. I did not want people finding out there was any chance of me being alive, so I assigned Pein as a decoy leader, while we met in private to discuss matters of the organization. I am the true leader of Akatsuki."

Deidara's face was painted with shock and fear. It was a lot for him to take in.

"I-is it safe; you know, f-for you to be, yourself? Now?"

He asked timidly and I nodded slowly.

"I've been contemplating it, but it's been years since my mistakes."

His body was tense, though he seemed less nervous now that he knew more about who I was. I was still the man he knew, in a way. I shifted once and he nearly jumped off the bed as I did so.

"Deidara, calm down, I promise I'm not going to harm you in any way."

I soothed. His eyes hardened, as though he thought I was lying. My eyes fell to where his shirt had fallen slightly off his shoulder, I glared at the torn wound that rested there. It couldn't be mistaken for anything but a bite wound. My eyes trailed up his throat, which normally was covered by a jacket or his cloak, to find hickeys spotting it.

"What happened to your shoulder?"

I asked carefully. He jolted, jerking his eyes to stare at his arm. His mouth opened and he jerked his shirt to cover his shoulder and his neck.

"N-nothing, hm! It's a kunai mark from when- It-Ita-Itachi and I trained."

He could barely say the other man's name as tears fell down his face again. I leaned forward, ignoring his yelp and attempt to move away from me. I gripped his chin and pulled him to look me in the face, as he wouldn't meet my eyes.

"Don't lie to me, Deidara. What happened to you, to make you so frightened and cause these wounds?"

I said, pulling his shirt down to reveal the wound. He stuttered, eyes filled with unexplainable fear. I eyed the wound precariously, it was violent and if it wasn't treated, there was a chance it could become infected. I placed my hand over the wound, ignoring his hiss, infusing chakra into it to heal the infected skin and close the wound cleanly. I had never had proper training as a medic, so there was still an outline of the wound, but at least it wasn't dangerous.

He stared at where the bloody bite mark once was, then back up to me. He still seemed weary. I kept a calm look on my face, though anger surged through my body. Not at him, but at whoever had dared to harm him in such a manner.

"Deidara, you need to tell me who did this to you."

He looked away, slightly shaking his head as though he was afraid to tell me no, but more afraid to tell me what had happened to him. I sighed, not wanting to push him. I lay back down, lightly pulling him to lie beside me. He was no longer crying, nor was he shaking. It took a few minutes before his breathing softened and he drifted to sleep.

I narrowed my eyes at his thin frame and the marks on his throat. I pulled the blankets back over him, closing my own eyes and waiting for the day ahead, where hopefully I could get more answers from him, before we went home. I tensed when I felt his sleeping form press against me. I didn't want to scare him but I tried to relax, wrapping my arms around him. A small smile graced my lips as he sighed contentedly and snuggled against me. Who would want to harm him, in any way?

As he clutched onto me once more I swore whoever had hurt him would pay dearly.

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><p><strong>AUTHORESS NOTE:<strong>

**Oh god here we go. I'm finally gracing you with the full story LOL. So many liked the short version you were given, I had wanted to see if the idea would bloom to more and it has so I finally threw it to paper (type?) and posted it. I'm letting the ideas flow, I don't have an exact plan for it yet. However a few of you have really been waiting for this and I hope you like it, I'll try not to make it too angsty.**

**Fuck, like I even could. Unless I'm angry or sad everything I write ends up cheerful So…here ya go!**

**Btw the pairing IS MadaDei, I'm not someone to have the victim randomly love the one who hurt them in such ways. See what happens…**


	2. Hurting

**AUTHORESS: Amaya~Ikari**

**DATE WRITTEN: 3/22/11**

**TITLE: Don't Be Afraid To Tell**

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><p><strong>DEIDARA POV<strong>

My sight was hazy, I blinked for a minute or so before the bleariness cleared and I could actually see. I winced as my body seeped into a sense of awareness and my pain sensors kicked in. I tried to move, only to be startled by the fact that someone was holding me down.

I turned as carefully as I could; swallowing the loud gasp when I saw a strange, raven haired man inches away from my face.

I breathed in relief as realization hit me and the memories of the past night came back. This was Madara… I stared at him for a while, too afraid to move. I felt caged in his grip, it wasn't painful -honestly it was comforting- but not to me. I felt like it was constricting me, stopping my air. I desperately forced down my panic attack, willing my body to relax and breathe deeply.

As I tried to ignore the fears haunting my mind, I took in the man beside me; someone I had _thought _I had known and I obviously hadn't at all. His skin was pale and smooth, almost like the starlight itself. His shaggy black hair stuck up at odd angles and was fairly short and his face had sharp features, his eyes almond shaped and lips full.

I felt my cheeks heat up in embarrassment as I thought of how attractive my older -_much _older, apparently- partner was. I turned away as his crimson eyes fluttered open. I couldn't ever look him in the eyes. Especially after everything that, that wretched Uchiha had done…

I swallowed hard, the memory being forced down, as though I could consume my fears. He mumbled softly, I inhaled sharply as he let me go, his hand had pressed against a sore spot on my torso. He didn't seem to notice, or if he had he didn't let on.

He ran a hand through his hair, making it stick up even more. I allowed my eyes to wander, taking in his bare lower stomach and tall form. I glanced away when he turned to me.

"Are you alright, _senpai?"_

He asked. I felt my lips twitch as he used the honorific. I stared at the very interesting floor as I nodded softly. I couldn't get up right away, my body was stiff and pain always was worse when you first wake up. He eyed me suspiciously; I shifted under his intense gaze. I held my breath as he walked over to my side of the bed, I attempted to shrink into the sheets. He raised his hand and I reflexively flinched, expecting to be hit; but at the same time, I had this internal feeling he wouldn't be the one to harm me.

He moved a little more slowly, treating me like some skittish animal, as he held his arm out for me. I bit my lip, half in humiliation I even needed help-_especially_ for the _reasons_ I needed help, and half in that haunting fear that I now seemed incapable of shaking off, even though I was away from… them.

I took his outstretched arm, shaking as he rather easily just lifted me from the bed and set me carefully on my feet. Everyone seemed much stronger than I was, he could decide at any moment to toss me around like a ragdoll and there wouldn't be a damn thing I could do about it. I ignored his hawk-like gaze as I stretched timidly, always paranoid of tearing open some wound.

I didn't feel a torrent of blood from anywhere, taking it as a good sign I took my bag and left to the larger bathroom to try and get ready. I would ignore the mirror, whenever I stared into it this strange, hollow creature stared back at me with dull, blue eyes.

**MADARA POV**

I hissed silently as he moved around like a hurt animal, afraid of his own shadow. He thought I was going to _hit_ him when I raised my arm! I've never struck him and I never will! His lifeless blue eyes looked around this bland excuse of a room as though he was waiting for monsters to come out. I suppose he does have monsters to deal with, but there wasn't much I could do, unless he let me help…

I threw on clean clothes of my own before the door clicked open. He still walked in a pitiful manner, as though it pained him to do the simplest things. He was wearing clothes that looked a few sizes too large, perhaps so they wouldn't irritate whatever injuries he had.

His cloak covered up any other marks, including hiding his face. He had a very pretty face, even when he was so wracked by whatever was happening to him. A part of me wanted to get answers from him this very moment, but I didn't want to upset him. Hopefully he'll put some trust in me; until then the best I can do is help him in every way I can.

He sat down timidly as I paced, gathering our things and reciting the mission through my mind. It was simple, something either of us could do alone. A tenant of this hotel had obtained a scroll that contained instructions on a highly dangerous jutsu, something powerful that in the wrong hands could destroy everything in its path. I wanted it away from some mortal ingrate's hands and into ours; it could be handy later on.

I wearily stared at the blonde as he nearly fell off of the bed, having fallen asleep, before he caught himself. The bags under his eyes indicated he hadn't slept in a long while and when he had slept, it wasn't a healthy sleep. He continued to blink, almost in confusion, as I glared at the mask I had hidden behind. I was ready to leave it, but was the world ready for me?

Deidara startled me as he fell backward, body apparently giving out. I rolled my eyes, he was either too stubborn or too afraid to let me in on what was happening but at this rate he would die before anything else. I dropped the orange mask onto the floor and crushed it with my foot, I was ready -beyond ready- to reveal myself to the world.

I sighed deeply, making a quick decision to leave him here to sleep for a bit while I retrieved the scroll. Hopefully there would be no need for bloodshed. I placed a seal on the door so no one else could have access to my unconscious partner before setting off for the lower rooms where I knew the tenant was staying. As far as we knew he was an ordinary citizen, no ninja status to speak of. So with some luck I could knock him out, take what I needed, and make my leave.

**TIME SKIP**

Of course luck was never on my side.

I dodged another fireball as it flared past me, the wall ahead of me erupting in flames. I cursed as I slid under it, turning and landing a high kick on the burning wall so it collapsed and blocked off my attackers. I turned around and with a deep breath raised my arm.

I opened my eyes to find myself back in our hotel room, Deidara still passed out. I threw our bags over my shoulder and shook him softly.

"Deidara come on, we have to go. Now."

I hissed. He blinked for a second, I took his hand and got him up and nearly tossed him out of the window I had broken. I turned my back to him as he quickly started to create a bird for our escape, glaring around the area for other ninja. Pein had obviously left out the fact that the man was guarded by four anbu; a detail that would have helped when I was being bombarded in flames the second I reached for the needed scroll.

Deidara called my name, I turned and hopped onto the clay creation as it took off, thankful we were already high in the sky by the time the remaining ninja broke through the wreckage of the burning hotel.

I sighed deeply, pulling out the tattered scroll and reading the contents within it. As I skimmed over the wall of words I glanced at the blonde. He had apparently been looking at me because he jerked to stare down at the passing earth when our eyes met. He shifted to pull himself away from me. I narrowed my eyes at him, I knew he didn't act this way around Tobi. Technically I was still the same person; I wish he wasn't so distrustful.

I rolled up the scroll and placed it back in my cloak as we neared the base. I rose to one knee as the ground came up, hopping off easily and setting our stuff on the grass. I turned as Deidara readied to jump. He hesitated, eyeing me for a moment. I think he was afraid I was going to let him fall, or he just didn't want me to help him. Either way he eventually stepped off and into my arms. I set him down on his feet and he picked up his stuff and ran away from me.

I shook my head as I stalked off to my office to take care of the scroll. I met no one along the way but I had to go through Pein's office to get to my own. The room had a hidden wall that disappeared to give way to my own, so no one aside from us and Konan could ever know it was there. He gave me a questioning stare, obviously surprised to see me without a mask.

I nodded to him once as I performed the hand seals and entered the secret room, locking away the scroll and concealing the room once more, I finally turned to him as he sat with his legs crossed, eyebrow raised in a questioning manner.

"I got sick of hiding. One can only keep up an alias for so long, Pein."

I answered his unasked question. He turned away from me and resumed his own work.

"And what do you plan to tell the others?"

He asked in a low tone. I snorted.

"The truth."

With that I walked away from him, slightly grateful to not see any of the other members as I quickly went into my bedroom. It was isolated from the others, they thought it was so "Tobi" wouldn't annoy them but really it was so I could have some damn privacy. I growled as I sat down at my desk, flipping through mission reports Pein had completed and given to me to review. I glanced at the door, no one usually bothered me but with my luck someone would today. Oh well, it might be easier to deal with them one at a time.

**DEIDARA POV**

I pulled my cloak around me like a sort of shield. Tobi had been someone I trusted, probably the only one I trusted anymore, and now that trust seems to just disappear. It was as if he wasn't real, the trust wasn't real; an entire part of my world crashed down around me.

This man, Madara, claimed many things. Especially when he said he wouldn't hurt me. Many people say that, but how many mean it? He was nice, but that could be a simple façade. As simple as "Tobi" had been created.

I rubbed my shoulder over and over where he had healed that wound Hidan had left. I was grateful for even the slightest relief of pain. At least now I could wear a shirt without it rubbing against the bloody mark. I twisted my mouth, still confused as to why he had wasted any chakra at all on someone like me. Even if we were partners I saw no point in it, I deserved the pain I got; it was punishment for all I had done wrong. I couldn't tell Madara, even if I wanted to. Itachi and Hidan would kill me. It was easier to just let them do what they wanted.

I shakily opened the door to my room, glancing over my shoulder out of habit before going inside. I could barely see, the sun was already setting. Strange, it hadn't seemed like the ride home had taken that long… Of course I daze in and out all the time.

I turned around, barely muffling my scream as I saw Itachi lying nonchalantly on my bed, as if he belonged there. He eyed me up and down, a sinister smirk on his face. Millions of thoughts flew through my head. I could run back out, I could still scream, I could get away; I knew there was a chance to get out.

But at the same time I knew they were pointless thoughts, I wouldn't even try to get away. He was faster than I was and even if I managed to get away, I couldn't hide from him forever and he would only be angry later on.

I bit my lip so hard I tasted blood. I heard the click of the lock behind me, and Hidan's seductive chuckle echoed in my ear as he wrapped his arms around my waist. I tilted my neck as he buried his face against me, a pathetic sign of submission. Any fighting I'd had in me had been completely beaten out of me.

I gasped as Itachi pressed against my front, opening my cloak and tossing it to the side. His pale hands gripped the bottom of my shirt, ripping it in half and allowing the torn garment to fall to the floor. I pressed my hands against him in an attempt to push him away, but all it resulted in was Hidan biting deep into my neck.

I clenched my teeth together as I felt the blood drip down my chest. Itachi bent slightly, licking the blood up from my chest to the wound, kissing my neck softly. Itachi was cruel, but he wasn't as sadistic as Hidan, not that I was sure it even made a difference at this point. He met my lips in a forceful kiss I didn't respond to. I pulled back as he fell onto the bed; pulling me onto his torso with him. I felt tears already prick my eyes and they hadn't even started yet.

He flipped us so I was beneath him; I tensed in repulsion as he continued to kiss my neck, nipping harshly every so often. I wasn't masochistic. I wasn't even used to any of the pain they dealt out, and I never would be. No matter what Hidan tried to force into my mind, I did **not **like pain.

I brought my arm to hit him as he started to pull my pants down. I felt a stronger pair of arms grip my wrists and pin them together above my head. I glared up at Hidan's smirking face. I thrashed as he held me down; Itachi already having removed my last bit of protection.

"Let me go, you fucking rapists, un!"

I screamed. Itachi slapped my face, hard enough to leave nail marks on my cheek. I winced as Hidan tightened his grip.

"You can't call it rape if you enjoy it so much, Deidara-chan."

The Jashinist above me hissed. I growled in disgust, shutting up when his grip became threateningly tight.

"Do you want me to break your little arms? What good are you without the use of them, bitch?"

I relaxed in hoping he wouldn't snap my arms, there was no easy way to explain that to someone when I went to get healed. The cauldron of fear in my stomach started bubbling over when Itachi stroked my cock slowly.

In the end it was always a war between mind and body, what I felt and what I thought. My body took it as pleasure, I took it as torture. Itachi teased the tip of my erection with his thumb before he pulled away, I nearly groaned at the loss of contact. Hidan jerked me up by my hair, I suppressed a yelp as he did so; something that took practice. My back was pressed to his chest as he rubbed his arousal against the small of my back. My eyes widened as he slid it down, thrusting against the cheeks of my ass before he pressed against my entrance.

I opened my mouth to scream and relieve some of the agony as he shoved his large arousal inside me, but Itachi was ready for my reaction and pushed his cock into my mouth and down my throat. I gagged, tears dripping down my face as both men roughly fucked me, my throat was sore from the large dick shoved down it and my lower body burned as though I was being cut by hundreds of knives.

I felt my muscle tearing, blood lubricating my passage as Hidan pounded into me. Tears streamed down my face as neither gave no mercy. Hidan yanked my hair back, I wanted to yelp but Itachi still had my throat blocked. When he finally took it out I didn't dare to make any sound, I only gulped air down in desperation. My tears left a salty taste in my mouth, along with the older man's pre-cum.

My eyes widened as Itachi knelt down and lifted me up by my hips, Hidan never relenting even as he started to bite along my neck. More hickeys to hide.

Itachi slid his cock into my abused hole, stretching me even farther. I started to scream bloody murder but Hidan slapped his hand over my mouth. I kept letting out muffled sobs as they violated me, my body heaving for air. I squirmed in pain, wincing in disgust when Hidan came first, scalding my wounds with hot fluids. He pulled out of me and with a final nip to my throat he left me.

Itachi stared at me, something in his eyes I couldn't decipher through my tears. I shut them as he groaned lowly, filling me with his cum until I felt it leak from my body. I sobbed as I felt his grip release me and I curled into myself on the bed. Hidan snickered.

"I was wrong before. You aren't of any use anyway, except for whoring around."

I sobbed into the sheets as he reached between my legs. If I didn't cum when they had their fun, one of them would force me to orgasm. I tried to hold back, but the pressure became too much and I exploded into his hand with a muffled moan.

He wiped his hand on my torn shirt as he pulled his pants on and left. Itachi looked at me for a moment before he took his leave as well. Fucking bastard. He never cared what he did to others, he liked seeing me like this; in pain and pathetic against them. I couldn't even defend myself and I dared to say I was a ninja.

I sobbed as emotions tore through my body. I wrapped my cloak around myself tightly and stood, taking off out of my room and down the hall; away from the pain and regret. I ignored the pain between my legs, I had to get away. If I wallowed in the misery any longer I would completely lose it.

I didn't know exactly where I was going, but my body did. I allowed my legs to carry me away from the others and into a more quiet part of the base. I reached a door and without any thought -absolutely any concern as to what I was throwing myself into- I threw it open. If anyone cared to help me now, it was this man.

**AUTHORESS NOTE:**

**Story wise- I hardly have time to write. I'm going through a rough time right now and normally no one cares, it's just writing, but I have no inspiration so I'm sorry :/ Also my online school semesters are ending soon and I'm working like a bitch to pass -.0 Excuse the stupid ending, I didn't think of a could cliffhanger and it 4am and I'm going to see the hunger games tomorrow with my best friend and zzzzz**


	3. Helping

**TITLE: Don't Be Afraid To Tell**

**AUTHORESS: Amaya~Ikari**

**DATE WRITTEN: 3/25/12**

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><p><strong>MADARA POV<strong>

I jolted as my door was thrown open, crashing loudly as it banged against the wall. I turned, prepared to tell off whomever had just barged in, but what I saw completely short-circuited any thoughts I had.

Deidara stood in my doorway, disheveled hair, blood and another whitish fluid ran down his legs, tear stained face and more were pooling in his eyes. My mouth fell open as he just stood; sobbing and panting for air, looking so hurt and afraid I was almost afraid to do anything.

I held my arms open as I took a step toward him. That was all it took, he fell into my arms and broke down. With his added weight against me, I carefully slid to the ground. He buried his face into my chest, his muffled sobs resounding through the room and his small body trembling. I ran my hand through his hair as my other arm secured around his shaking frame.

I glared in rage at the bite marks on his neck, the blood and _suspicious liquids_ running down his legs; so many things were wrong here. I felt torrents of fury course through me but I shoved it down, because he needed me here right now. I hushed him soothingly as his heart wrenching sobs died down into harsh breathing and sniffles as he continued to clutch onto me like a lifeline.

I rubbed his back softly as he calmed; the only sign of his breakdown being the tear stains on his pretty face. His breathing was low, slightly ragged. He suddenly looked up at me, as if he just realized something terrible, and made a move to get up. His face twisted in pain making me gently tighten my hold on him and bring him close to my chest. He shook a little, but his grip never ceased.

"I-I'm s-s-sorry, un."

He stuttered, sounding tired. I shushed him lowly, deciding to ask questions later and care for him now. I gently lifted him up bridal style, ignoring his small cry of surprise. I took him to my bathroom and set him in the tub carefully.

"You can shower here. I'll find something for you to wear."

I spoke lowly, his blue eyes owlish and frightened. I locked the door from the inside since he seemed so petrified, shutting it behind me. I roamed through my drawer until I found a large sleep shirt and boxers he could comfortably wear. I listened patiently as the water pattered down. When it stopped, I contemplated asking if he needed help, but before I could do so, he opened the door; his cloak covering him and his beautiful blonde hair cascading around him. I handed him the clothes I held and he eyed them a moment, before disappearing back into the bathroom and changing into them.

When he emerged, he had no cloak to hide behind. I glared at his body, littered with bite marks, bruises and cuts. The shirt fell to his thighs; he looked rather cute in the oversized clothes. He bit his lip, standing awkwardly as his eyes met mine. He tried to walk past me and out the door but I held my arm out and stopped him.

"Stay here, tonight."

I asked softly, though it didn't sound like a question. His eyes watered again, for no apparent reason. I knew he was emotional right now, so I didn't wait for his response -no, it wasn't an option, after this I wasn't sure I'd ever let him out of my sight again- and gently placed my hand on his, leading him to my bed. He shook his head, opening his mouth to say something but I cut him off.

"Sleep. I promise you're safe here."

I murmured. His eyes glimmered in uncertainty before he slowly sat on the bed, easing himself onto his side. I pulled a blanket over him, startling him I guess, since he jumped. I smoothed his hair back; I didn't want him to cover his sapphire eyes.

I walked back over to my desk. In the silence I waited as his breathing evened out, giving away that he now slept. I breathed harshly in anger, staring at a stack of papers, willing them to catch fire. I turned to stare at the sleeping teenager when he whimpered. My eyes softened, he was having another nightmare.

I laid next to him, allowing him to move on his own accord. He snuggled against me, clenching my shirt in his hands in the process. His whimpers ceased when I cautiously put my arm around his waist. As I stared at his serene face that only a couple of hours ago had been painted with terror and pain, I wondered;

Who could ever hurt him?

**MORNING, DEIDARA POV**

I woke up to immense aches flooding my body. I whimpered in pain, snuggling deeper against my heat source. I felt this unexplainable good feeling, despite the pain. I felt…safe. I sniffed once, lifting my head up. I nearly blushed when I saw the person I'd been pressed against was Madara. He was awake, propped up and staring into space. I averted my gaze when he looked down at me.

"Hey Deidara, sleep well?"

He asked softly. I nodded, shifting around. He didn't take his arm off me and all I did was practically place myself on his chest. I winced at the stabbing pain from my lower half, something not unnoticed by my partner. He cupped my cheek, forcing me to look at him.

"Deidara, I know you're afraid, but you _have_ to tell me who did this. I can help and you know it."

I knew he probably might help me; he was our leader, after all… But I was so afraid of Itachi and Hidan's temper. I was humiliated because I couldn't take care of myself. I was called an S-rank missing nin and yet, I couldn't fend off my own team mates. I stifled a yelp as he dragged his fingers over my sides, touching bruises. I glanced timidly at him. His face was sincere, and concerned. I bit my lip. I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. I shook my head.

Madara sighed. He brushed my hair back before standing. I dared to stare at him as he shook his black hair, tight shirt showing off a muscular frame. I glared down at the bed when I realized what I was doing.

"You are a slut."

I mumbled silently to myself. I lowered my eyes in shame as I tried to get up. It was always hard; the morning after. I knew it would take a while to heal and really hoped I had the time to…

I gasped when a hand pushed me down onto the bed.

"Stay here and sleep, you need to take it easy. I could only heal your worst wounds and I want you to relax for a while."

His silky voice spoke to me. I nodded once, still in shock from the undeserved act of kindness. I relaxed into the soft bed, eyes fluttering. I didn't even remember falling asleep.

I awoke to a sinister laugh. I jerked up in bed with a hiss of pain as I did so. I glanced to the door and narrowed my eyes at Hidan, who was leaning in the doorway. He made no move toward me, but my heart was thundering in my ribcage and I felt my breathing become erratic.

"Why aren't you in your own damn room? Are me and Uchiha not good enough for you anymore?"

He sneered. I bit my lip; I didn't know what to do. I couldn't get past him; I sure as hell couldn't fight him. I didn't think he'd do anything too bold here, but his eyes suggested he didn't care where we were. I surprised both of us when I spoke, something I didn't mean to do…

"Go away Hidan."

I said lowly. His eyebrows raised and he chuckled sarcastically. He took a step closer to me and I pressed against the head board.

"Hidan I don't recall giving you permission to come into my room. Care to explain why you're here?"

I inhaled sharply when a calm yet venomous voice spoke from the hallway. I peered nervously through my curtain of hair to look at the owner of the voice. I'd never seen anyone as angry as Madara looked at that moment; he radiated fury and yet he maintained a calm composure. Hidan scoffed and I flinched when he turned around.

"Who the fuck are you, bitch?"

Madara's eyes narrowed dangerously.

"Someone you don't want to fuck with."

Madara's voice took on a murderous tone. Hidan glared at the man, annoyance in his eyes. I felt my heart stop in its tracks as Hidan turned to face me again.

"Did you bring some stranger in here to fuck, ya whore?"

I ignored the burn of tears at the sentence, but Hidan barely had time to finish it when he was thrown harshly away from me; my mouth fell open when he crashed into a wall outside of the room and Madara stood next to me.

He looked down, anger still sparkling in his crimson gaze though it wasn't directed at me.

"It's him and Itachi, isn't it Deidara."

It was not a question and we both knew it. I had a feeling he had known all along. I gazed to the floor and nodded slowly. Hidan cursed loudly and a kunai whizzed straight for Madara. My eyes widened. I hadn't even noticed him move, but the next second, Madara held a kunai in his hand, a clank of metal on metal echoed, as he deflected the thrown weapon, sending it back the way it had come.

Hidan swore at him, he stood in the doorway, blood on his arm. He opened his mouth but in a blur of black and red Madara was in front of him, lifting him up by his throat and pinning him to the wall.

"My name is Uchiha Madara. I am the true leader of this organization. Pein was a decoy for the position until I was ready to reveal myself. Do you understand or are you too thickheaded?"

Madara's calm tone held an underlying poison to it. Hidan gasped for air as Madara finally released him and let him slide to the floor; his red eyes glaring down at him as Hidan stood shakily and stared at him. He shook his head in confusion and turned to glare at me once more. Madara immediately punched him in the face and I winced as Hidan was thrown to the ground.

"Touch him again and I _will_ kill you, immortal or not, I can be your worst nightmare Hidan."

Hidan spat blood onto the floor, gasping sharply as Madara kicked him in the side, sending him out the door. He slammed it shut and turned around, inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly. When he opened his eyes and glanced at me, his face softened. He sat on the bed and even though I pulled away he placed a hand on my face, wiping away tears I had no idea had even fallen.

"Shh, it's ok. I promise he won't touch you again."

I shook my head but words didn't come from my mouth like I wanted, only a choked sob did. Why was I such a pathetic, emotional wreck? I leaned onto his shoulder slowly. I was still terrified, after seeing what he did to Hidan I knew he could do it to me just as easily. Hell, I still felt his muscles contracting from the repressed anger.

But every time I ever thought about how I didn't know him, I had to stop and tell myself that this _was_ Tobi, someone I had known since I was fifteen. Someone I trusted, even now, as he revealed Tobi was an alias; I couldn't shake the trust and care I'd had for Tobi.

My crying gave way to soft sniffles as Madara still kept his arm around me.

"I'M FUCKING SORRY OKAY? IT ISN'T MY FAULT! THE FUCKING ASSHOLE JUST THREW ME AT THE WALL!"

I jolted as Hidan's voice rang through the base, pressing myself tightly against my partner. Hm, was he even my partner anymore? He was the leader...

My thoughts were cut off when Madara chuckled.

"Well I suppose now is as good a time as ever to talk to the others. You stay here and rest some more, I'll be back later. I'll lock the door."

With that, he disappeared, leaving me to huddle into the blankets and drowsily daydream.

**MADARA POV**

I strode quickly down the hall to find that everyone except Deidara, Pein, and Zetsu, had come into the large living space to see why Hidan was screaming. Said man was having his partner stitch up a head wound, I smirked. He glared at me harshly. I glanced for a moment at Itachi; as usual he had no flicker of emotion. This infuriated me. Both men had raped their teammate yesterday -and other times obviously- and one thought it was funny and the other looked like he thought it was nothing.

Everyone's eyes turned to me, most looked confused and on guard, in case I was an infiltrator. I sighed deeply.

"I don't know how much Hidan told you, but my name is Uchiha Madara. I'm the true leader of the Akatsuki; Pein was a substitute I used until I was ready to reveal who I really was. Tobi was my alias."

Kakuzu's eyes narrowed.

"How do we know this is true?"

He questioned. Everyone turned to stare at Pein as he walked into the room.

"It is true and I suggest you all show respect to Madara-sama."

He turned to look at me.

"I'm glad you finally decided to come out because I'm ready to retire; now they're all yours to deal with."

Pein noted dully. I smirked at him and turned to the others. My eyes met Itachi's, he held my gaze for a moment before averting it. I looked to Hidan next.

"You two. Follow me, _now."_

**AUTHORESS NOTE**

…**..Hey….. I feel like I'm not writing this as well as I could be but I'm trying hard and it's still good so yeah. I feel sorry for poor Deidara, but everything will get better.**


	4. Punishing

**AUTHORESS: Amaya~Ikari**

**DATE WRITTEN: 3/31/11**

**TITLE: Don't Be Afraid To Tell**

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><p><strong>NO POV<strong>

Hidan rolled his eyes, not making any move to follow their "leader," doing the opposite from Itachi, who followed nearly immediately. He shot Hidan a warning look, earning a sneer from the albino though he followed behind the smaller male. Madara walked swiftly ahead, through winding and dark halls. Hidan cursed under his breath. He didn't know what this guy wanted, but if he was going to waste their time playing follow the leader then he didn't know why he or Itachi was there.

Itachi on the other hand had an idea of what was going on. He was capable of seeing the man was who he claimed to be, and his alias, Tobi, had loved Deidara to the ends of the earth. If he had found out what they had _done_ to the blonde, there would be hell to pay. He watched the damp ground disappear under his feet as he followed the man. He felt a pang of regret as he thought of Deidara, how they had hurt him. He shook his head; what was done was done and there was no way to fix or reverse it. Whatever Madara decided to do was justified.

He looked sideways as Hidan nudged him softly, still mumbling under his breath. Itachi stopped abruptly when Madara did, resulting in Hidan running into him. The older Uchiha glared at them as he opened the door. Itachi met his red gaze as he walked into the prison cell of a room. Hidan stared into the room and turned to leave when Madara took his arm and threw him inside, landing hard on his stomach. The raven haired man shut the door and turned to stare hard at the two younger males.

Hidan got to his feet with a glare on his face.

"What the fuck was that for you bastard?"

He barely had time to finish the sentence when Madara punched him in the face, sending him to the floor again. Itachi inhaled sharply, watching through guarded eyes as Hidan spat blood onto the ground, turning to glare at the man that had hit him.

"You don't even care do you?"

Itachi's eyes widened; breaking his mask and showing a hint of emotion, but it disappeared and his eyes stared hard at the rocky floor. Hidan wiped his mouth as he knelt on his knees.

"Fucking care about what, exactly?"

He hissed as Madara gripped him around his throat and slammed into a wall.

"About Deidara you piece of shit."

Hidan's eyes narrowed, teeth grinding as Madara tightened his hand around his throat. He tossed him violently across the floor. Hidan cursed as his head slammed against the wall on the other side of the room.

"What the fuck you bastard! What is it to you what I do with that-"

Madara slammed his foot into Hidan's stomach, effectively silencing him. He turned to glare at the silent Uchiha, standing like a phantom in the room. Said man made no move when the elder moved towards him. He seemed to eye him a moment before backhanding the pale man to the floor. Hidan still wheezed for air, eyes glaring at the man attacking them. What was it to him if they had a little fun with the blonde? The bitch liked it anyway.

Itachi winced when he was lifted by his hair being clenched in Madara's fist and slammed so hard into the stone wall he found it hard to breathe.

"Why?"

Madara growled. When he received no answer he slammed Itachi into the wall again.

"_Why?"_

He nearly yelled. Itachi shook his head slowly, Madara thought about slamming him into the wall until he died, until the smaller man looked up.

His eyes were full of the apology he would not say aloud.

Itachi hadn't ever meant to hurt the blonde, things had gotten too far out of control, too far to stop and try to quell.

Madara tossed him to the floor with a thud, kicking him onto his back.

"You can't take back what you did to him. You'll live with it your entire life, Itachi."

He spat out his name as though it burned his lips to say it. Itachi opened his mouth, maybe to speak, but he was cut off when Madara grabbed his arm, lifting him up by it in a crushing grip. A sharp crack resounded through the room; a strangled scream came from Itachi as his arm was broken. Hidan winced, clutching his darkened side and becoming painfully aware he was internally bleeding and despite immortality it was a bitch to deal with.

"Shut up. I don't care about anything you have to say. I don't know what Deidara will want to do with you and I don't care. I'd like to see both of you rot in hell."

He tossed the broken weasel to the ground on his injured arm, eliciting a gasp of pain. He kicked him out of his path on his way to Hidan, who was still wheezing in pain as the bruises darkened over his torso. He pulled something from his cloak. Hidan had a second to register a gleam in the dim light before a searing torrent of pain flooded him, starting in his chest. He let out a choked curse as the sword protruding from his chest twisted slowly.

"Touch him again, and I _will_ find a way to kill you. Immortality won't stand in my way, you little bitch."

He wrested the sword from his body, resulting in a gush of blood from the Jashinist's damaged heart. He panted erratically, purple eyes dazed. Madara eyed him a moment, disgust flowing through him. His thirst for vengeance satiated at the moment, though rage coursed through him. He sent the deep breathing Uchiha an odious glare, one he met, but anger wasn't what was in those dark depths.

He slammed the door shut, leaving the two to their misery. Hidan would end up healed in several hours, unless he somehow managed to drag himself to his partner to be stitched and repaired. He didn't know or give a damn what Itachi did. His broken arm would hinder any of his decisions.

Itachi.

_That man regrets what he's done. So why the hell did he do it to begin with?_

Madara had no answer to his thoughts, though he pondered them as he walked back to his room, where he found the fragile blonde staring into space in an obvious daydream, his hands absently fiddling with the blankets. He clicked his tongue to alert the blonde he was here, startling said teenager. His eyes were wide as he turned to look at the elder. He looked nearly embarrassed, as though he was caught doing something he shouldn't be doing.

Madara sat on the bed slowly, moving as though Deidara were some skittish newborn deer. The blonde blinked away, chewing his bottom lip. He flinched softly when Madara laid a hand on his own.

"Are you ok?"

It was a simple question to most, a yes or no answer. But to others, that question ran very deep and there was never an easy way to answer it...

**AUTHORESS NOTE:**

**Heyheyhey. I know I left off the ending kind of oddly, but it was all I could think of, as you know I have trouble deciding on endings.**

**Nefeli think you could help with that? XD**

**Anyway, next chapter should really get things moving at a decent pace. Without Hidan and Itachi attacking him the healing process can begin, and forgiving, and Deidara's crush is very slowly growing.**

**I think this is going to be my favorite story.**


	5. Running

**AUTHORESS: Amaya~Ikari**

**DATE WRITTEN: 4/4/11**

**TITLE: Don't Be Afraid To Tell**

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><p><strong>DEIDARA POV<strong>

My heart pounded at the contact of Madara's hand. I nodded my head at his question, but he didn't acknowledge my answer. I felt more tears leak into my eyes as I changed my answer by shaking my head.

_Damn him._

I thought as tears dripped down my face. I was sick of this; sick of everything.

"Ssh, it's ok. I promise. Neither of them will hurt you anymore."

He pulled me into his lap, brushing my hair with his fingers. I shook my head slowly in denial. He didn't know that for sure. They could come back whenever they wanted, he couldn't watch out for me forever. He was probably sick of it already. He rocked me slowly until my tears ceased. I felt like some sniveling teenage girl who couldn't control her emotions.

He set me down on the bed as I furiously wiped my eyes, ignoring the sting. I shook my hair from my face, watching him as he stood and walked to the door.

"I have some business to attend to, will you be alright?"

He sounded irritated, as though he didn't want to go do whatever it was he had to. His eyes stared hard at me as I nodded. I would be fine, but, if he left I was half certain some horror would befall me.

_Get over it, you're getting spoiled. Take care of yourself._

I scolded mentally. He left with an uncertain look in his eyes. I sighed deeply to clear my head, looking down at my filthy body. I lay down for a few minutes before immediately getting up. I'd slept plenty over the past couple days. I stood shakily, weary of my own steadiness. I took a few nervous steps, satisfied that I could walk with ease; no pain, no limp, no cramp.

I stared at the door for a minute, contemplating about going out of fear that I may run into one of them or some other danger. I shook my head in anger; I wasn't going to play damsel in distress anymore. Fuck it!

I opened the door, shutting it behind me quietly. I realized I was _starving._ God, how long had it been since I'd actually eaten something? I walked, still cautious, to the kitchen. Some habits were hard to break, especially when you had no choice but to start them. I chewed my lip as I shuffled through the fridge until a deep voice startled me.

"Rice on the stove, kid. Konan made it earlier."

I turned to see Kisame walk in behind me, reaching next to me to pull a drink from the fridge. I backed away so he could shut it. Kisame was nice enough, a joker of sorts. But he was Itachi's partner, had he known what he'd been doing? Would he do it? Was he like that?

He stared at me with a curious look -I probably did look out of sorts- and decided against that thought immediately. Kisame wasn't someone to do that, he was above that and treated me like I was just some little kid that he couldn't hurt, especially not in the way I was frightened of. I nodded my thanks and hurriedly fixed a bowl of rice, nibbling on it periodically as I sat on the couch, sinking into the shadows.

Even I was annoyed by how long it seemed to take me to consume one simple bowl of rice. My stomach seemed to shrink since I hadn't been eating properly. Konan very nearly gave me a heart attack as she walked past me with absolutely no sound made, offering to take my bowl on her way. I handed it to her, curling up onto the couch like a puppy. Her pretty amber eyes glanced at me, cocking her head.

"You ok sweetie? You look pale."

She felt my forehead, I swallowed hard.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I've been… Sick. Sick lately."

She hummed, looking uncertain but didn't question me. I exhaled in relief as she left. Konan was sweet, motherly and fierce as a bear when it came to us; I didn't want to discuss anything with her. She would tell Pein, and then there was a chance everyone would know. I shifted, stretching carefully. I decided to turn on the T.V to take my mind off things, it was better than wallowing around.

_**IN THE CELL**_

Hidan winced as he made an attempt to sit up, exhaling through his mouth as the intense pain in his torso shot through his nerves. He ignored it to the best of his abilities. He'd dealt with worse than that in the battlefield. His body glistened with sweat as he willed his body to heal faster than it already was, the dark, large bruise vibrant on his pale skin. He shot a glance to the Uchiha, who hadn't moved from his spot on the ground. He wasn't sure he could with his broken arm.

It took several hours in the dank, haunting dungeon-like room, for his broken body to repair itself. A jagged scar was left where that **piece of shit** ran a sword through his chest and even though his skin still had an unhealthy tint to it, he felt minimal pain and didn't want to spend another minute in this hellhole.

He paced himself, tightening his muscles as he stood with a slight grunt of pain. He inhaled, standing still to see if any more damage could be assessed. His thoughts swam incoherently in his mind. Bastard probably gave him a concussion. He shook his silvery hair from his eyes, taking a few experimental steps to find he could at least walk somewhat steadily despite his jumbled mind.

He stared down with a solemn gaze at the Uchiha, with a raised brow.

"Fuck off Hidan."

Said albino rolled his eyes before bending down and gripping the raven's good arm, assisting him as he stood. He kept a straight face, the most reaction Hidan got was a wince. The weasel wasn't like him; pain wasn't an everyday ordeal, to say the least he was impressed by his tolerance. The weasel clutched his arm, which had a sickly yellow color. He froze.

Hidan would heal fine all on his own, his partner probably wouldn't even ask what had happened since he was so used to Hidan coming home injured. Itachi was different; his partner would be concerned and he had to go to someone to be healed. Konan was the only one who could heal a broken bone efficiently, and she would demand answers.

"Tell her we were sparring and you slammed your scythe into my arm."

Itachi mumbled in a monotone voice. Hidan had to catch him as he stumbled, breathing against his ear.

"Be careful."

Itachi snorted, moving to tear away from Hidan but thought better of it and allowed the zealot to help him to Konan's room, where the bluenette hadn't been busy -at least not too busy to not help them- and immediately set Itachi on a chair and started healing his arm. She had to straighten it all the way out, earning a hiss from the rock of a man. The healing process took some time, even longer when she took the time to heal both male's head wounds and Itachi's bruised ribs and face. Hidan refused any other medical attention.

"Quit babying me, woman!"

He said in exasperation. Itachi stared with downcast eyes as he slowly moved his stiff arm.

"How on earth did this happen?"

Their eyes met for a brief moment.

"We were sparring and I miscalculated his position and his scythe rammed into my side."

He said calmly. Konan shook her head in annoyance, believing their lie. She pushed them out, uttering at them to be careful. They met each other's gaze; Itachi hiding emotions behind his and becoming extremely irritated when Hidan saw past it.

"Why are you so upset princess? It wasn't a big deal. Why was he so upset over noth-"

Itachi looked up with his sharingan blazing.

"It wasn't _nothing_ Hidan. We _raped_ him. We raped Deidara. He couldn't fight, he didn't fight, and he will never get over it. We stole something we can't give back and we just didn't care!"

He kept his voice low with a dangerous tint, but to Hidan it sounded hurt.

"Why the fuck did you do it then?"

His voice was spiteful and Itachi drew back.

"You started this, I liked him. I really did. When we started, we couldn't stop. It felt like a fire that just spread and got worse."

Hidan fought his impulse to strike the younger, rolling his eyes in sardonic humor.

"Whatever princess. What's done is done. We won't do it anymore. It doesn't fucking fix anything, does it?"

Itachi laughed dryly.

"You care about him too-"

"I don't give a damn about that whore! It was just sex!"

Hidan fell back when Itachi shoved him hard, walking away briskly. He couldn't believe how far he had let this go. How badly he had hurt the blonde. How much he had actually enjoyed doing it. He shook his head in horror, arms crossed over his chest as he walked into the living room, on the way to his room, freezing almost instantly.

**NO POV**

Deidara's heart pounded in terror at the sight of the frozen, stone faced Uchiha, who had the decency to look down. Deidara felt his past habit haunt him, staying immobile, waiting for the Uchiha to do something. Itachi didn't move for a minute; the sixty seconds feeling like a year going by to Deidara. He felt his muscles spasm in fear and as adrenaline coursed through his wide eyed body. He clutched his fists, to do what, he didn't know.

The raven looked up into azure, horror stricken eyes. He opened his mouth, though all that came out was a dejected sigh. He didn't know what to say and anything he did say didn't matter. He took a step forward, honestly meaning to just head to his original destination -his room- but the moment he moved the blonde did something for once in his life in self-defense.

He ran like hell.

He bolted off the couch and was already racing down the hall in a yellow blur before Itachi even registered he had moved at all. He blinked, feeling guilt and shame encase his heart as he thought about how he was the reason this kid was so scared.

And he had no idea how he could fix it.

Or even if it was possible.

**AUTHORESS NOTE:**

**I'm aware this chapter is shorter than most of the others. Already chapter 5, hm? Alright. Well, we got Deidara to eat, out of the bedroom, and to actually break free of the dominant hold the two had on him, demonstrated by how he finally ran from them to protect himself. **

**Ok, most of you may be going "wtf" at my writing twists, but I'll kind of throw out what I'm doing since it won't actually be explained. **

**Yes Itachi feels guilty for what he did. Yes, he still did it. In his, strange mind, he and Hidan got caught up in the blonde's attractiveness and lust overtook other thoughts and they did the unthinkable. Hidan didn't really care (or did he?) But Itachi did, and he lives ashamed of what he did to Deidara, however once he'd done it he couldn't stop, that's how he felt, He couldn't take back what he did and couldn't figure out how to make things right so continued doing what he was doing with Hidan.**

**Some attackers feel guilty with what he/she did (And we all know, all in all, Itachi isn't a bad person.)**

**And this is what I did with Itachi. He feels bad. Will he make things right?**


	6. Talking

**AUTHORESS: Amaya~Ikari**

**TITLE: Don't Be Afraid To Tell**

**DATE WRITTEN: 4/5/12**

* * *

><p><strong>DEIDARA POV<strong>

My heart was so loud I was sure everyone in the base could hear it. I felt like miniature bombs were exploding in my chest as I ran, as fast as I could, away from Itachi. He just stood there; I don't think that he even came after me.

That meant nothing to me and I wasn't stopping.

I panted as I continued to race down the hallway. When did this hall get so damn long? It felt like I was running a marathon. I didn't see Madara until he practically lifted me off the ground to stop me. I gasped in surprise, trying in vain to catch my breath as I clung to his arm so hard I was worried I'd break it.

"Deidara what happened, what are you running from?"

He calmly asked, far calmer than I was. He told me to take deep breaths, which was easier said than done at this point.

"I-I just, I saw Itachi and got…scared, un."

My voice sounded so quiet that even I had trouble hearing it. His eyes narrowed and I thought I saw a flash of anger. I flinched when he tightened his arm around me.

"Did he do anything?"

I shook my head, trying to will my body to stop shaking.

"N-no, un. He just stood there."

Madara's eyes took on a calmer look. He shifted, looking behind him for a moment before looking back at me.

"I need to finish something up with Pein, will you be ok?"

I very nearly said no, but forced myself to nod. Like hell he wanted to be my bodyguard, he had important things to do and taking care of a brat like me was not included.

He looked at me for another minute, making me blush in the slightest, before he left towards Pein's room. I sighed deeply, contemplating where to go now. I growled in irritation before throwing it to hell and decided to go train. I hadn't done it in a while due to… The circumstances. Now that I was healed, I could move easily.

I stopped in my tracks; I was healed! I didn't feel any pain! I could walk, my muscles weren't sore and my bruises had healed evenly. I stared downcast at the floor. I owed Madara a _lot._ He'd probably saved my life twice, stopping them and helping me when I thought I was far past the point of saving. I shook my head as I picked up my pace again. Itachi wasn't in the living room anymore; thankfully. I didn't know what I would do if I saw him again.

Or Hidan, the Jashinist had to be somewhere.

I breathed deeply when I got outside. Fresh air never hurt anyone. I let my legs take me to the forest surrounding our base, ending up walking for hours rather than training. It was a refreshing walk and it was nice to be out. It felt good to actually stretch my muscles -maybe in a way, I was training- my body needed to rebuild some endurance.

I sighed deeply when I came back to the base, feeling sedate. I eyed Kisame wearily as he trained with his sword, Itachi didn't seem to be anywhere near him so I relaxed. I didn't really think of Kisame as a threat towards me, though you never know… I hadn't thought those two capable of what they'd done.

I shivered as I stepped into the base, it was much cooler in here than it was out in the heat of summer. Goosebumps shot up my arms as I walked throughout the drafty base. I made the decision to go back to my own room, Madara was probably sick of babysitting and sharing his room with me. I was an adult, I should be able to look after myself.

Besides the fact that all my stuff was there.

I hesitantly opened my door, rolling my eyes at the sudden, nearly haunting chill that emanated from it, the way rooms seem to get when no one lives in them for a while.

I very nearly fainted when I saw who was in it.

And still might, judging by my shaking legs. My eyes went wide and I immediately thought of screaming before the raven haired nightmare held up his hand. I backed against the door.

"Deidara, can we, talk?"

**AUTHORESS NOTE:**

**Well this ought to be good, hm. **

**I'm aware this chapter is shorter than the others, but… you'll live.**


	7. Breaking

**AUTHORESS: Amaya Ikari**

**DATE WRITTEN: 7/3/12**

**TITLE: Don't Be Afraid To Tell**

* * *

><p><strong>(Deidara's Pov)<strong>

_It's a trap._

I tried to keep my breathing normal. He didn't move when I reached for the door, fully prepared to scream if he tried to stop me. He sighed lowly, gazing at me with obsidian eyes. He never deactivated his sharingan around me…

"Deidara please, we really need to talk."

"What is there to talk about?"

I hissed, clenching my fists hard. His indifferent gaze broke into an expression of sorrow.

"I'm sorry."

I stood, paralyzed. Shocked. Disgusted. Sorry? _Sorry?_ Sorry for what? Sorry you kidnapped me and brought me to this hellhole? Sorry you nearly shattered my mind? Sorry you raped me? How dare you try to _apologize_ to me after you tear my life apart! Sorry applies to when someone breaks your toy, not your soul. _Sorry_ only goes for something that's fixable and forgivable. Sorry is just an airless, useless, meaningless, lie to me. You don't even know what you've done. You don't understand what you've done.

"Get out."

He opened his mouth to say something, but I struck out, hitting him in the face.

"Get out!"

I yelled, anger surging through my veins. Anger, sorrow, and fear.

"Deidara please, I'm so sorry that I hurt-"

_Hurt._

"Hurt? _Hurt?_ You didn't _hurt _me, you fucking tore me apart. You took everything I had away from me. I'll never be the same, I'll never get that back, and you want to say you're _ sorry_ to me? Why? Do you feel_ guilty?"_

He cringed, blood dripping from the corner of his mouth. It angered me more, how much of my blood had he shed? How much had he taken and reveled in it just because he _could_? What did he think? That I couldn't do anything? He reached out, and I harshly jerked away.

"Don't touch me. Don't ever fucking touch me."

I spat, body shaking and mind racing so fast I couldn't focus on a single thought. I wanted him to leave me alone, but I wanted to hear why he had chosen now to try to make up what he'd done.

"It was a mistake, I-"

_Mistake._

"Shut up! Mistakes are when some fucking kid messes up and lies to his parents, or when someone steals from someone else. _You_ can't use that excuse. _You_ raped and _tortured _me. Why?"

He shook his head.

"_Why?"_

I screamed, taking his shirt and slamming him into the wall behind us, terror coursing through my veins at being so close to the man who very nearly killed me, but I wanted an answer and I refused to have him try to just walk away from me now. He wouldn't meet my eyes when he spoke.

"I don't know."

I don't know. _I don't know._ I don't fucking know either. I don't know why I had to suffer. I don't know why I had to deal with the pain while I watched you derive pleasure from it. I snarled, using all the strength I had in me I threw him to the ground.

_Why aren't you fighting._

"You don't know? You don't know why you tortured me for months, why you violated every part of me, my body, my mind? You don't fucking care is what you mean!"

He looked at me then. Black eyes bore straight into mine. My breath caught in my throat when he stood. I flinched when he stepped towards me.

"Deidara, you're right. About everything but that. I care. I regret what I did and I'm so sorry I ever did it to begin with. I can't answer you why I did it, lust or love or just a hunger for control. I'm sorry and I always will be for hurting you."

_Sorry._

Good. Because now you'll have to live with it forever, just like I do.

"Leave. Just leave, Itachi."

I almost sounded like I was begging. I wouldn't ever let him have that power again. I shoved him out of my room and slammed the door so hard the walls shook. I trudged slowly towards my bed and fell into it, curling into a tight ball. I wanted to cry, but I felt so, so _empty. _Why is it even possible for someone to have that much power over someone else?

* * *

><p>I woke up a few hours later and the light was gone from my room. I blearily blinked to clear my vision, moving my hair from my eyes. I sighed, feeling empty. Dead.<p>

I rose from the bed in an almost zombie like manner, dragging myself to the bathroom. I turned to face the mirror, meeting the eyes of that dull eyed creature. He kind of looked like me, but he wasn't. He was hollow. His eyes were soulless, his hair was messy, his face pale and uncaring. He was frightening.

"_Crash!"_

My blood dripped to the floor, glass showered the counter and ground.

_It hurts._

My hand burns horribly. But he's gone, he isn't staring at me anymore. The pain is welcomed, it brings me back down to reality. I heard someone curse, I didn't look up when someone bent down, pushing my hair back.

"Deidara, why did you do this to yourself?"

He muttered. I stared down at the ground silently. He brushed the glass to the floor, the clinking sound was ominous. He put his hands around my waist and lifted me up, setting me on the counter. He messed around in a drawer before turning the sink on and sticking my hand under the cool water. I winced, watching the blood swirl down the drain. A light green glow emanated from his hand while he held my own, healing the damage I had caused.

When he was done I pulled my hand away. He placed both his arms onto the counter on either side of me, caging me. He brought his face close to mine.

"Deidara, please don't do this anymore."

Don't do what… Break mirrors?

"Hurt yourself."

He answered my unspoken question. I flinched, shrinking back from him. His eyes roved over me, making me nervous. I wanted to say I was sorry, but it was always a lie.

"Why?"

My voice sounded so distant, even to me. He narrowed his eyes, bringing his hand to my chin to tilt my head up.

"Why what?"

It was less of a question, he knew what I meant. I gritted my teeth, voice wavering.

"Why did you help me? Why do you care so much?"

His shoulders twitched in a silent laugh, looking into my eyes with a small smile.

"Because I love you."

**AUTHORESS NOTE:**

**La de da~~La de dah~~Lah de dum~~ Love is in the air~~**

**So I finally pulled together another chapter. Hooray. It was kind of dark but I ended on a good note.**


	8. Kissing

**AUTHORESS: Amaya Ikari**

**DATE WRITTEN: 7/27/12**

**TITLE: Don't Be Afraid To Tell**

* * *

><p>My heart stopped immediately and my eyes widened. I felt my mouth drop and I really wanted to say something but I just couldn't think of anything to say.<p>

"M-Madara, I, I mean…"

Did I?

_What did love mean? _

You trust the person.

_Did I trust Madara?_

Your heart flutters when you're around them.

_Did mine, when I was with him?_

You feel safe and protected with them.

_Did he make me feel safe?_

You care about them.

_Did I care about him?_

Yes.

I leaned forward and kissed him, he tensed in surprise when our lips met. I was nervous but this was the only way I knew to tell him how I felt. He placed a hand on my lower back, tilting his head. It was chaste, but it sealed our relationship. He pulled back, shaking his head. I bit my lip, had I done something wrong?

He walked away from me, I jumped from the counter when he started to leave.

"Madara wait, please!"

I stood in the bedroom, shaking from my nerves. He turned around, face expressionless.

"Did I do something wrong, hm?"

His eyes softened and he stepped towards me, wrapping his arms around me. I bit my lip, pressing my face against his chest.

"Deidara, I'm sorry."

_Why?_

"What for?"

He tsked, pulling away, I let go somewhat reluctantly.

"I'm a monster, you don't need to be with someone like me."

I bit my lip, crossing my arms over my chest. I didn't like nor was I good at conversation, anymore.

"What are talking about, un?"

He turned to look at me, his crimson eyes focusing on mine. I struggled not to back away and to hold his gaze.

"Why do you think I created Akatsuki? Desire to capture the Bijuu?"

I didn't have an answer for him.

"I want to take over this world, to end the war and suffering. But something happened a long time ago, and I need to take vengeance for it. I need to destroy Konoha."

I blinked, inhaling deeply, stepping closer to him. He glanced at me.

"What did they do to you?"

"They took my brother."

He whispered, voice quiet with pain. My eyes widened, arms dropping from my chest.

"I _will_ destroy Konoha. I'll avenge my little brother's death!"

He spoke in a hurt tone as his eyes narrowed. I bit my lip, brushing my hair from my eyes.

"Madara, you aren't a monster, un. I don't think so."

I whispered.

"You don't?"

He sounded surprised, looking down at me with widened eyes. I shook my head.

"You loved your brother and I think you're doing the right thing for him, un. I'll help you take revenge on the ones who hurt you."

I wrapped my arms around him, face against his chest. He kissed the top of my head, tightening his hold around me.

"Thank you, Deidara."

**AUTHORESS NOTE:**

**IT'S SHORT OH GOD WHY CAN'T I WRITE LONG CHAPTERS. Next one I have serious plans for, though, don't worry! And I was kind of stuck on where to go, my beta helped me get this idea down. I kind of think I can have this done in a few more chapters, but at the same time it seems like it get longer… I'm not sure.**


	9. Saving

**AUTHORESS: Amaya~Ikari**

**DATE WRITTEN: 7/31/12**

**TITLE: Don't Be Afraid To Tell**

* * *

><p><strong>(Minor Time Skip)<strong>

"Fuck you too, un!"

I growled at the counter as I bumped my hip on the sharp corner* while getting dressed. I opened the door to see my smirking boyfriend.

"What's so funny, hm?"

I asked him, flipping my hair back.

"You. You're so easy to rile up."

Madara said softly, leaning in to peck my lips. I smiled softly. It had been two weeks since the bathroom incident. Over the course of two weeks -and what felt like two years instead- Madara had made me move into his bedroom, I had no marks on my body aside from the X shaped scar, and I'm not nearly as jumpy, suspicious, or paranoid. Itachi and Hidan both left me alone, aside from the occasional sneer from the Jashinist. Itachi still seemed a little, off, frankly. I had thought deeply on the Uchiha's words, but can't bring myself to believe him, yet I still don't truly believe he had been lying.

But _how_ do you do such horrible things to another human being? You don't. Not for so long, and feel remorse. He meant to do what he did, he enjoyed doing what he did, and I… I forgive him. If I told you, you would think horribly of me. But, I really just want to put everything behind me. I want to push my past back and leave it, so I can move on to the future. If it wasn't for him anyway, who knows? Maybe I wouldn't have my relationship with Madara.

God, how could I live so many blind years? He was still Tobi, still the man who knew so much about me and who I trusted. Trust, a pretty useless word, I used to think. Now I know, it's just a rare one that's often abused. I sometimes got nervous if I got close to Itachi or Hidan, but rarely -if ever- was I alone.

Another thing; I hadn't forgiven Hidan. Itachi might feel bad after the fact. That coward, power freak Uchiha. But Hidan loved every second, his pleasure and my pain. I couldn't let this go, because I couldn't get over how someone could love hurting another so much and so badly. I sighed.

"I need to go train."

I quietly told the elder as I exited the room to leave him to the paperwork he'd been messing with. I hadn't gone on any real missions since Madara found out about my, ordeals. Let's just call it that. And I needed to get back in shape. It was rather dreary outside. Strange how weather was so simple to some, yet it meant a lot to others, deeper people. Like, you could see it as simple sun or rain, but you could it as sun radiating cheerfulness and something exciting, and cloudiness bringing the quiet and calm.

* * *

><p>I panted as I lay on the ground, exhausted. I overworked myself trying to build stamina, and paid the price.<p>

"Tired, Deidara-chan?"

I jumped to my feet, almost resembling a cat with my speed.

"What do you want Hidan, yeah?"

I spoke fast, tone bitter to cover the intolerable amount of terror I now felt. Being completely vulnerable and alone with your abuser and rapist does that to you.

"Come on, aren't you happy to see me?"

"Fuck off!"

I snarled. His eyes shot over my shoulder.

"Don't be a fucking priss, I wanted to talk."

I scoffed.

"Nothing to talk about, un. Just go, I'll fucking blow you to shit if you try anything."

"I'm immortal, bitch. It wouldn't matter."

I clenched my fist, but refused to go anywhere near the dangerous and insane man. My eyes widened when something behind me moved. I turned around in time to block a kunai aimed at my face, an older ninja with a crossed out headband lunged at me. His eyes were wild.

"Akatsuki scum!"

He screamed. I was so shocked I fell backwards, he stopped, looking at me as I got to my knees.

"You won't hurt anyone else!"

He shrieked to the sky, raising his sword. I brought an arm up to defend myself, bracing for the hit that was about to come. I felt a breeze as someone stood directly in front of me, I opened my eyes, mouth falling open in shock.

Hidan had blocked the hit. What would have gone directly through my heart, had gone through his, instead. He wheezed, spitting blood to the ground.

"Run before this crazy bastard gets another chance."

He growled, I tore off down the trail not stopping or slowing until I slammed into Madara so hard we both went down. He held my shoulders as I breathed so hard I was almost hyperventilating.

"What happened? What's wrong?"

He asked quickly, it took several pants as I tried to spit out my answer.

"Crazy man…Satan…Attacked…Hidan saved me...He…Hurt!"

I wheezed desperately, falling forward. I'd never run so fast or so long in my life. He yelled out someone's name, lifting me bridal style. I vaguely heard Kakuzu and Madara converse as my mind tried to focus. He began walking, I clutched his shirt, nervous I would fall for some reason. He laid me on the bed, disappearing for ten seconds before handing me a cup of water, which I practically inhaled. With a few deep breaths, I could speak.

"There was a man and he tried to kill me, but Hidan, he-he took the hit. It would have killed me."

I breathed. He brushed my hair back, hushing me calmly. I vaguely registered Hidan cursing somewhere in the living room, probably being stitched up by his partner.

_He saved my life._

But why?

* * *

><p><strong>(No POV)<strong>

Hidan muttered incoherently as his partner stitched the wound in his chest, making the slightest attempt not to get blood on his bed as he sat as still as possible, so Kakuzu wouldn't tear one of his limbs off.

"Waste of my time."

Kakuzu mumbled. Hidan glared at him.

"Fuck you, old man! Now you can take that bastard's body. He's probably worth money somewhere if he's a rogue!"

Kakuzu finished his work and pulled back, multicolored eyes narrowing as he left the irritated Jashinist alone to collect the body. Itachi walked in the open door, shutting it behind him and standing beside the albino, startling him when he spoke.

"Are you okay?"

Hidan gasped, turning around quickly to see the smaller man.

"Make some damn noise when you move, Uchiha. Yeah I'm fuckin' fine."

"You could have just knocked him out of the way."

"Then it probably would've hit his fucking leg or something!"

"Why do you care? You like hurting others. Especially him."

He said this in a bitter tone. Hidan narrowed his eyes, moving to stand directly in front of the Uchiha, their chests almost touching as he leaned in, real close to his face.

"Listen princess, maybe I give a damn about the blonde, maybe I don't, but I wasn't gonna let him die. What I just did, is probably the only fucking apology he's gonna get from me, so deal with it."

He snapped. The younger didn't flinch though, he just smirked.

"You have a strange way of showing people you care."

Hidan put his hand on Itachi's chest and pushed the smaller man away slightly as he straightened up.

"Fuck off. The bitch was a good fuck, nothing more; nothing to care about. Madara would have made his threat come true, if I let him die."

"Whatever. You're a bad liar."

Hidan slammed the Uchiha into the wall behind them, causing him to gasp.

**AUTHORESS NOTE:**

**Eh, I lied. Not a really big thing. But I did hit over 1,000 words this time. I guess, I kind of know where the ending is, but I haven't found the correct road for it. I'll work on it. This story might end up longer than I thought. Or still think.**

***- That shit hurts. But stubbing your toe hurts worse 0.0**


	10. Taking

**AUTHORESS: Amaya~Ikari**

**DATE WRITTEN: 9/1/12**

**TITLE: Don't Be Afraid To Tell**

* * *

><p>I was pretty much ordered to stay in bed the rest of the night. It was already twilight, I guess it was alright to go to bed at this time, but I still felt like a small child under someone's care. Which, I guess a part of that was true. I glanced with a pout at Madara as he came back into the room, glancing at me and smirking slightly.<p>

_That's a good look for him._

I thought absentmindedly, eyeing him when he sat on the bed beside me and brushed my fringe from my eyes. I'd let it down but some of it was always hanging in front of my eyes.

"Is Hidan alright?"

"He's immortal, I'm sure it hardly fazed him."

I twisted my mouth to the side in deep thought, replaying what had happened in my mind over and over, it was like a record player.

"Are you okay?"

I opened my mouth to say I was fine, like I'd grown accustomed to, but I quickly put myself back in place when I remembered who I was with. The man you just couldn't lie to.

"Not really. My rapist saved my life, I've never had such torn feelings in all my years, hm."

That sentence probably sounds funny if it wasn't under such dark circumstances… He sighed, pulling me so I was in his lap, head resting against his shoulder. I inhaled deeply; in an unusual way, his scent was comforting. I nestled down, mind still stampeding with thoughts and questions.

"Everyone has a guilt factor, something may have pushed him into feeling guilty. While I don't know what it was, or that it makes any difference, I'll probably always be in his debt for saving your life."

He told me steadily, voice softening at the end. He tilted my chin up, pressing our lips together. I felt everything else melt, every problem, every fear, everything that wasn't focused directly on him. His hands slid to my hips, I swallowed when his tongue massage my lower lip. With minor diffidence I opened my lips for him, relaxing my body so I wasn't so tense.

His tongue entwined with mine in a wicked dance. I moaned softly in pleasure, shuddering as his hand slid under my shirt to the small of my back, holding me closer. I blushed softly at the sheer intimacy and tenderness with which he treated me. I placed my hands around his shoulders, and he shifted so he could lay me on my back, he positioned himself over me. I felt his warm hand slide up my stomach, thumb rubbing one of my nipples. I gasped softly, breaking the kiss. He glanced at me, his crimson eyes swirling with something more sinful than the Sharingan.

_Lust._

He slowly pulled my shirt over my head, discarding it on the floor. I blushed as he ran his fingers delicately over my chest and torso, as though I was a fragile glass doll that he feared would break. He traced the large scar on my chest, frowning slightly. I pursed my lips, feeling self-conscious. I knew I was damaged goods -especially with this scar- and Madara deserved someone pure, someone who could give him all he desired.

"M-Madara-"

I was cut off when his eyes met mine, such a vehement torrent of love, tenderness, and distress* storming in their scarlet depths my body was paralyzed, voice catching.

"I'm so sorry I let this happen to you." He whispered softly, crestfallenly. My eyes widened as I swallowed hard, bringing a hand up to his face.

"You didn't do this and you couldn't have known, you stopped it as soon as you could and have healed me in a way no one else could. There is nothing to be sorry for. What have you taught me? What happened in the past can never be changed, but the future always has new surprises."

I kissed him, whispering against his silken lips.

"If my future has you, then that's all that will ever matter."

Sapphire met ruby, passion erupting like a volcano in that simple glance. He pressed our lips together softly again, before getting rougher. I moaned quietly when his hand rested on my hip, his lips sliding down my jaw and to my neck, nibbling softly.

I shivered when he discovered my soft spot, the flesh right below my right ear. He bit down gently, eliciting a whimper of pleasure from my kiss-swollen lips. He traveled down to my shoulder, nipping it softly, the tan flesh darkening in a bruise. When he kissed my collarbone and down to my nipple a sharp spark burst in my core, making my back arch as his skilled tongue slid over one of my hardened nipples.

The hot and wet sensation traveled through my nerves as he repeated the action on my other nub. I shivered when he blew cool air onto it, squirming under the harsh feeling. He smirked, leaning up and kissing my forehead, and then my mouth. I tensed when his hands slid my dark pants down my legs, his distracting lips alleviating some of my anxiety.

I didn't know why I was so nervous… Past experience, probably. But I was positive the act itself would be alright, pleasurable actually, with someone I whole-heartedly cared about. I loved, desired, and trusted him.

With these thoughts swarming my mind my body eased into a relaxed state as his calloused fingers massaged my inner thigh. With an internal huff I realized he was still fully clothed. I tugged impatiently on his shirt, feeling his wicked smirk against my heated lips. He sat up on his knees, positioned between my legs, and pulled off the tight shirt and let it fall to the ground where it would lay forgotten. I inhaled sharply, feeling like a kid given its greatest dream. My eyes took in his chiseled torso, porcelain skin, and muscular chest. I'd thought it before, because of all he'd done for me, but now I was certain that the man before me was god.

His eyes glimmered as I caught myself staring at him, blazing with lust, I wondered if I looked as desirous as he did. His hand slid up my leg again and I became aware of how achingly tight the fabric of my boxers had become. I bucked my hips as Madara skimmed his fingers over my arousal, slowly pulling down my last piece of protection. I blushed hotly, swallowing hard when he licked his lips, like I was something to eat.

He leaned down to skim his lips across my bared neck again, fingertips circling my bellybutton. I quivered under the feather light touches, back arching to receive more of them. He teasingly slid his hand lower, skimming my pelvis and then to my thigh, skipping over right where I wanted him to touch. With a soft sound of protest, I bucked my hips.

"Madara!"

I hissed, he looked at me with one brow raised.

"Stop teasing!"

I hissed. He leaned close, hot breath fanning over my ear as he nipped it.

"Tell me what you want."

He whispered. I trembled slightly, placing my arms around him as I met him in an ardent kiss.

"I want you to touch me, make me scream, make me yours."

I softly said, voice a seductive whisper. He pulled away with a small nip to my jawline, finally wrapping his fingers around my throbbing erection. I let out a breathless cry of pleasure, hips bucking up to give me more of that sin. He ran his thumb along the tip, stroking me slowly. I writhed on the bed, my long hair fanned out around me. He abruptly stopped, to my displeasure. I inhaled slowly when he stood and let his last bits of clothing fall to the floor, revealing him and all his glory.

I felt my cock throb at the erotic sight, shivering when his eyes met mine, full of sin. Full of promises for pleasure. He knelt down again, between my spread legs, placing his arms beside my head. My fingers tangled in his midnight colored hair as he crashed our lips together. I moaned softly when his fingers wrapped around my cock again, rubbing slowly up and down. I bucked my hips in an effort to get more of the friction. He broke the kiss, leaving me panting.

He placed three fingers at my lips, eyes cautious, as though he thought he might be forcing me into this. I opened my mouth, sucking gently on the digits. He shuddered, to my pleasure. I ran my tongue over the digits to coat them evenly, eyes half shut. He growled softly, pulling them back.

I subconsciously bucked my hips as he ran the wet fingers down my torso and between my legs, rubbing my entrance lightly. I hissed when he pushed one long finger inside and tried not to clench down on it. Madara soothingly rubbed my hip as he moved the digit in and out. Nearly a minute later I felt a second one pushed inside, I squirmed slightly; it was more uncomfortable than painful, really.

The raven above me started to kiss my neck softly, ghosting his lips across my pulse. I cringed when he scissored his fingers, gasping in slight pain when he added the third. He hushed me softly, his breath fanned across my throat. I sighed deeply, forcing my muscles to relax despite the stinging pain emanating from my lower half. I shifted in discomfort when he twisted the digits and forced them deeper.

"Madara!"

My voice went up in pitch, I blushed. He smirked, pushing them back down to hit my prostate again. I moaned, thrusting my hips down onto the invading fingers to bring more of the blinding pleasure. I whimpered almost pitifully when he pulled them out, my eyes shooting to meet his. He smiled softly, gripping my thighs and pulling me closer. I quivered slightly in anxiety, eyes sliding shut.

Madara brushed my hair to the side, kissing me gently. I felt his tip press to my entrance, slowly sliding through the tight ring of muscles. I whimpered loudly, biting my lip. I felt his hand clasp around mine, I held it tightly as he slid completely inside, taking a deep breath and trying to relax. He kissed both of my eyelids, and I blinked them open, his concerned eyes making my heart swell in knowing that he cared so much.

"Are you okay?"

He asked softly, I nodded, pecking his lips and pulling him closer to me.

"M-move."

I whispered, wrapping my legs around him, wincing when he was pulled deeper. His hand rested on my hip as he pulled out and thrust back in slowly. I vaguely thought about how strong he really was, how he could break me if he wanted to, but here he was being as gentle as though he thought I was something precious.

He groaned quietly, pace picking up a little as I relaxed. My eyes were half shut, making a soft sound in a mix of pleasure and discomfort as I adjusted. I wondered why he wasn't going harder, but I realized, he was waiting for me to tell him it was okay. I'd never had so much…control, like this. I bucked my hips into his.

"F-faster, please!"

I hissed, breathing quickening. Madara eyed me predatorily, placing both hands on my waist, and slamming back in. I cried out when he rammed into my prostate, paralyzing me with ecstasy. I gasped for air when he did it again, his thrusting becoming harder. My breathing was erratic and I had started to buck my hips to meet his thrusts. I moaned loudly, thankful we were far enough away from anyone else that I wouldn't be heard.

I gasped when he pulled me up, our positions switched so he was sitting against the wall and I was in his lap, his cock sank deeper into me. I groaned in pleasure when he lifted me up, slamming me back down. I yelped, throwing my head back and placing my hands onto his shoulders. I bounced in his lap, moaning continually. I glanced at him, his eyes glazed in lust, an utter look of ecstasy on his face. I met him in an open mouth kiss as I neared my completion, shuddering. My body tensed and I threw my head back with a loud cry of Madara's name, convulsing in ecstasy .

Madara growled lowly, biting into my neck as I tightened around him, thrusting deeply into me and filling me with his seed. I whimpered, shivering lightly. He lifted me off his lap, settling me onto the bed next to him, kissing my forehead tenderly. I paid little attention as he stood up, disappearing into the bathroom for a few minutes. I panted hard, trembling slightly in the aftermath.

I passed out not a moment later, dreams still filled with those sinful red eyes.

* * *

><p><strong>AUTHORESS NOTE:<strong>

***Distress for what had been done to Deidara.**

**Hey guys... I did the lemon, I took my sweet time with it, it's the most romantic thing I've written. **

**Also, please go to my profile and vote on my poll, arigato! **


	11. Ending

**(Madara P.O.V.)**

I smiled softly at the blonde angel as he curled up against me in his sleep, his neck covered in marks that told the rest of the world exactly who he belonged to.

I'd known Deidara for years; I still remember hearing of the young teenage terrorist and the hell he raised across the five nations as a hired bomber. How I'd convinced Pein to send the other's to recruit him for our growing organization and that his powers would be beneficial. He was a far cry from the calmness and maturity his teammates displayed, he was a dynamic personality. Much like his art; explosive and exciting.

He had hated it here before, he felt trapped. He felt more open when he realized the freedom he had to create his art as he pleased; but it didn't deter his hatred for Itachi. Rather, the Sharingan. I never understood it; however I was grateful he didn't seem to loathe me for my Kekkei Genkai.

He stirred suddenly, I let him shift, sitting up slightly. He took in a sharp inhale of air as he sat up, moving to lay his head in my lap. "Sore?" I teased, his response was muffled but I knew it was probably a jab towards me.

"Come on, we need a shower." I lifted him up, smirking at his docile, early morning personality as his arms went around my neck. I set him in the shower, shuddering as the water hit my bare skin. He leaned back against me for a moment as the water drenched his golden hair. I kissed his lips softly, savoring the feeling of warmth I received from his affection.

By the time we'd separated ourselves from each other the water was cold. I wrapped an arm around Deidara's waist once he was dressed. "I have some serious matters to attend to today, will you be all right alone?"

"I'm not a child. I'll be fine, yeah." He told me with a small pout. I kissed his forehead as I took my leave. I hated leaving him alone, but he was right, he needed his independence.

* * *

><p><strong>(No P.O.V.)<strong>

Deidara swept his hair into a tie as he walked down the hallway, aiming a glance at Itachi as he passed him on his way to the kitchen. What was it, that Madara said? Deal with your demons, don't try to ignore them?

"Morning." The blonde said stoically, grabbing a bottle of water and taking a sip. The raven's dark eyes fell on him, regarding him warily. It seemed Itachi had a more difficult time with this than Deidara did. He nodded at the blonde and Deidara tilted his head a little when he saw something on the Uchiha's neck, trying to make sure he wasn't seeing things.

"Do you have a hickey, un?" Itachi's eyes widened momentarily before he returned to his apathetic attitude. "No." Deidara held his tongue so he wouldn't spit an acidic reply to that statement; did the bastard think that he wouldn't know what a bite mark was when he saw one? The only question left was who had-

"Too fucking early for your little tea time, ladies." A mocking voice rang, Itachi blushed in the absolute slightest when Hidan's eyes fell on him, but Deidara noticed it. He felt something similar to nausea and euphoria, an almost violent mix. It made him sick to think his tormentors were together, but gave him a sense of relief that they would truly let him be.

He walked away from the room seconds after Hidan entered, he wasn't eager to face two demons at once. He sighed as he went back into his room, startled to find Madara already back. "Is everything all right?" He asked his lover, noting the look of weary anger he had. The Uchiha looked up at the blonde, licking his lips before replying.

"I… Am having trouble deciding on our plans." He murmured. Deidara tilted his head in concern for the older man. "You seem deeply upset by what you say you _wanted_ to do, hm." Madara exhaled in annoyance, standing to turn away from the blonde.

"I know what I'm doing is causing more war, but I know once the plan is completed the world will be free from the destruction and pain." Deidara placed a hand on Madara's shoulder. "There will never be peace this way… When people die, others will thirst for vengeance. There will always be people against you." He whispered. Madara turned to look over his shoulder at the blonde, and his eyes took on a calmer look.

"I'm always here for whatever you decide, Madara." Deidara promised. "But everyone hating us, everyone so against what we're trying to do, will destroy our planet." He murmured. Madara ran a hand through his hair. "We can't take back what we've already done." He shot back. Deidara sighed. "No. But we can stop doing it. Everyone tries to do what they think is good, and there is _never_ going to be a time when everyone has the same opinion of right and wrong. We are all humans, all living on this earth. We must stop this before we wage a world war that kills everything off." Deidara said in determination.

Madara exhaled deeply. "Then what do you propose we do?" He asked the bomber. Deidara smiled. "What do you think is right? We need to call off the wars, call off the missions to kill the Jinchuuriki." He replied. Madara rubbed his temples. "Do you think just trying to stop this will work? That the end of destruction is what would heal this world?" He demanded. The blonde stood straight, a calm look in his azure eyes.

"No. But it's a start. People will fight for all eternity, forever hating and disagreeing, and they will always fight. But if more and more stop fighting, the more peace can spread."

Madara eyed the younger male a moment before pulling him close. He was young, but he knew what pain was. They both understood hate, pain, and the desire for it all to end. Ending their own hateful paths would be a start.

But who were they, really, to decide the world's fate?

* * *

><p><strong>AUTHORESS NOTE:<strong>

**You are not to dwell on that final question it was for dramatic effects.**

**Final. Fucking. Chapter. Oh my god. Yeah I know, I seem to end things on indecisive notes… You'll get an epilogue at some point I promise. Something about how the world ends up and their relationship. I know I said I thought this would be longer, but I was so stuck on it I had to ask my beta for help, she helped, I got this. I wanted peace, I got it. In a different way. Sort of. **

**Love you~**


	12. Epilogue

Deidara sighed as he hopped down from the clay bird he'd been flying on, blowing his hair out of his face as he jogged up the stairs to the large house. He glanced over his shoulder as a few birds began pecking at the large clay one, obviously disturbed with the size of their fellow bird. With a chuckle, Deidara opened the door and slid into the house.

"You're home early." A resonant voice spoke, startling Deidara as he looked up. A smile spread over the twenty-two year old's lips and he threw his arms around Madara's shoulders, always eager for affection from his stoic lover.

"There wasn't much happening, hm. I patrolled the borders and everything seems fine. Itachi's scroll is a little late today, but I assume it's because of the wind deterring the bird, yeah." Deidara replied, walking into the bedroom to put on more comfortable clothes. Madara had each Akatsuki pair patrolling a village, since the plan had gone through seven months ago.

The plan had been to cease the Kage's control over the villages and take it into control of the Akatsuki; Madara's plan was to cease the war that people created, and under his own control, things were flowing smoothly into place. Deidara walked back into the living room and lay on the couch beside Madara, who was glancing over a scroll sent from Konan discussing the matters of repairing a damaged dam.

Deidara was content with Madara, though it was on occasion he went through an episode where Madara had to wake him from a nightmare before Deidara screamed himself hoarse. The episodes were less frequent, and they haunted him much less. The past was over and it was never going to reoccur.

Deidara sighed as he leaned back, listening to the steady beat of Madara's heart. The sound slowly lulled him into a peaceful slumber, his dreams laced with the singing of the birds and the romance of the summer night. Madara brushed his fingers through his lover's hair slowly, a smile tugging at his lips. He would not have succeeded without Deidara, not in anything, he was sure.

He had said he wasn't going to love anything anymore. Not after Izuna's death. But Deidara literally burst his way into Madara's life, and the Uchiha hadn't been able to get rid of him since then.

Not, that he really wanted to.

* * *

><p><strong>AUTHORESS NOTE:<strong>

"**Amaya do you have any idea how goddamn cheesy you are."**

**I was doing a few epilogues and decided to throw this one in here for the hell of it. Short and sweet.**


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